The Mad 1390s

The Duke is in love....

And everything is looking rosy...

So of course he dies....

The new duke raises the army to carry on the war with Italy, and sets out on pilgrimage for Jerusalem  gets injured in a burning building, catches a cold, and dies before he gets to the Holy City....

And so we get this bloke....

There are no words to express how much I hate him.

It's not just because he is chaste, and has poor stats, and has a rubbish wife...

It's because he is from Cyprus, and the Cyprus branch of the family are a particularly annoying bunch of people, who going way back to Duchess Barbara have been a right royal pain in the backside. And, he has all the traits that make him a typical Cypriot Polkarios - lazy, greedy, and not good at anything but being a soldier. Not that he is even much good at that, since way back in the mists of time I am pretty certain that he was the chap who rebelled, and despite having all the advantages, couldn't even win that war.

Hence why he is unlanded, and has become our problem.

Though on the brightside he is maimed.

And the Duke of Rashka - or whatever -  clearly agrees with me, and promptly declares independence.

Which poses a real problem, because Raugia is still controlled by a mayor, and the last time this region went independent, it went into business against us, forcing us to re-conqueror to shut them down. Thankfully the Duke is a feudal Lord in Zeta, so as long as he stays independent, and keeps control of the Dukedom, there shouldn't be an issue.

Houston we have a problem.

Plus the Duke of Sicily hasn't taken kindly to the Island of Malta, passing into the family of the Duke of Calabria

But never mind, as the war in Italy is going well....

And the capture of Pavia has provided us with a nice bonus...

And after we sent 18,000 troops, and the Polkarios family rallied round with another 60,000 - the situation in the Balkans has resolved itself....

Plus the ending of the Italy war, and the annexation of Pavia, has left the Italian King holding one castle in Rome, and some tribal lands in Northern Norway...

And given that the Pope won't give us a divorce - so far it has cost 4,000 prestige points - I wonder where those 60,000 mercenaries are going? Or why the retinue is drawn up around the Vatican?

It looks like God is on the side of the Big Battalions today...

10,000 dead mercenaries later, no siege here, just waves of assaults, the Duke of Latium is very pleased to receive his new lands....

And if you want to see the Pope, you need to go to Constantinople - which you may remember we gave to them in the settlement of 1047.

And if you want to see the King of Italy, you will have to travel slightly further afield... but at least he can save his children from being captured and executed, as I am unlikely to send troops to the arctic circle... as fun as killing his kids is...

The New Duke of Lombardy is this chap...

Hopefully, he and the Duke of Modena, who holds the Lombard lands, will fight it out to create the de jure Duchies, and also take the few remaining de jure counties of Lombardy held by the Italian crown, or vssalize them, so we can use our war declarations for other things, like Genoa.

And at the fourth time of asking the Pope has finally given us a divorce, so the administration problems have been greatly reduced. Luckily the rather good ex-wife of the previous two Dukes was still knocking around the court.

And just to show there are no hard feelings, the Pope has given us more money...

In the past 20 years the Pope has given us the best part of 200,000 gold, for various things like deposing the anti-pope, fighting holy wars, etc.... the vast majority of which has been spent on mercenaries.

And then he declares a new crusade for Jerusalem....

Which of course we join.

For this reason....

As we do not have the slightest interest in going to the Holy Land to fight in what will be the 5th or 6th crusade for the Kingdom of Jerusalem.

However, we do have a problem.

The death of the Duchess of Pisa, unfortunately occured when her heir, a bothersome chap - who has already been blinded for rebellious activity - was leading a revolt in Kabylia. Meaning that instead of him taking his dukedom, and giving us a potentially useful county in Africa, we now have to fight a war.

Oh and a peasant revolt in Salerno...

None of which is a problem...

And a new Pope means....

At which point officially we have more money than the Pope, plus we make three times more money than him.

So the peasants are crushed, the leader executed, Pisa is back in our hands, though Piombino is not - which is not really an issue, since there will soon be a new Duke, and it's not like the Duke of Pisa has the ability to resist.

But what is this...

Oh great... heretics...

And they waste no time in revolting....

And we waste no time in crushing the revolt, forcing the leader to convert, and sending him to the knights of Caltrava.

Plus the much hated Prince of Cyprus finally shuffles off this mortal coil, bringing in a new Duke, who is actually very useful...

And of course a new Duke means....

Ok, so we have had to sign up for the crusade, but if the new Duke can give us five years, we can settle the Piombino question, grab a bit more land in Italy, maybe get to a position in which the Pope can come back to Rome and be vassalised, and maybe - if miracles do happen -  the kingdom of Italy can be destroyed, and the Italian Dukes given Independence, allowing us to settle down for a nice gentle run in to the end of the game.

True we do have an issue with heresy, and the revolt risk continues until 1407 in Bari - but we have the troops to deal with it.

When this happens....

The Duke dies, and the new Duke is.....

A possessed Sunni Muslim.

At which point I burst out laughing. And declare with all my heart and soul, that I love this game, and it is the best computer game that has ever been made.

You can't make this shit up.

For five hundred years, the Republic of Sicily has been the staunch defender of the Catholic Church. Because of us, Greece and North Africa have been converted to the faithful. We have fought and won numerous crusades, defeated 3 Jihads (and only lost the 4th, after fighting for 18 years), we have fought and won countless holy wars.

And now because of the serendipity of seniority succession, and a deliberate policy of sending the family out into the world to make something of themselves, we have a Muslim Doge.

Part of me is tempted to go the whole hog, and convert, and turn Italy into a Jihadi state - and if he was 10 or 15 years younger this would probably be a viable option.

But I guess I'll just play safe, settle the Piombino question, and maybe grab a bit more land in Northern Italy. And perhaps fight a few wars with my family, depending on how much umbridge they take about my Mohammedan Doge.

Mad.

Love it.

peace:)