Occult Dabbling

So having given independence, and getting the Pope back on my doorstep, I decided that it was time to try an anti-pope - and see if that might solve the issue of the interminable Italian wars.

First step, change the laws to free investiture....

I went with Papal investiture centuries ago, mainly because under free investiture I ran into problems repopulating the court. Not being a maths type player I can't give statistics on this - but imo an man and his fifties is more fertile with a 17 year old girl, than a younger man.

That and it was just easier to let the Pope do it, get the bonus in relations and take his money.

Then we took back Spoleto from the nearly independent Duchy of Modena.

But oh dear, the Bavarians have set up an anti-pope of their own.... thou shalt have no anti-pope but mine.

So it is off over the mountains....

The fighting was pretty fierce....

There were two large battles, one involving 35,000 on each side, and another with about 25,000 on each side. While ultimately we have the advantage of numbers - have employed every mercenary we could - the Bavarians were working on home territory, and were able to pull their neutral (in our war at least) allies out of the ongoing Holy War for Pest. Thus we ended up fighting and defeating the main armies of England and Aquitaine in the course of the fighting.

At last the King of Italy died, and his successor, the one time King of Croatia, started pushing to vassalise de-jure duchies. Which in turn led to Zeta going into to his realm, as it was held by the Duchy of Bosnia.

Which in my book means war!

Which we win, but then the newly independent duchies in Northern Italy decide they are not true Polkarios', and give up their independence...

Which on the face of it is a bad thing. But more annoying is that the Duchy of Croatia - which has been independent for centuries - decided they had had enough of deciding their own destiny.

Meh....

Oh I did have to laugh, when the newly independent Duke of Lombardy, got kicked off is land - that bloke has always been an idiot.

Oh and we got a new Duke...

Who is not great, but he will do.

I wonder who this happened....

Which leaves the Italians with an 8 year old in charge.

Other than that we have been filling the court with heretics, and looking for the idea candidate for anti-pope.

I'm not sure what will happen, but there are only 25 years left in the game, so it will be interesting to see the results of my religious dabbling.

I probably should have gone for one heresy rather than mixing Cathars and Waldensians...

Right time to reclaim Lombardy by pushing the numpty's claim.

peace:)

The Wind of Change

And so just when I am getting in the swing of being a swinger...

Oh well the new chap is lustful, and as I have married him to the old Duke's wife there shouldn't be a problem - after all she was happy enough married to the oldest swinger in town....

So off he goes on pilgrimage, while the troops move up for a new round of land grabbing in Italy. This time the target is Treviso...

And of course we win...

However there is a problem, in the form of the heir...

He has low diplomacy skills, a useless wife, and in his time as Count of Trapani has made a number of enemies due to his generally ambitious nature.

I can't say I like the bloke much either.

But while I fret about this the Duke of Latium launches a war on the King of Italy for the castle in Rome, which is his last holding, apart from some tribal lands in Norway.

Oh and did I mention that we have now gone Pommeranian?

There is some scandal at court, when the Duke gets a 16 year old unmarried courtier pregnant, and does the decent thing by acknowledging the child - which doesn't go down well with the missus.

And just as they are about to appear on the Jeremy Kyle show....

He dies....

Leaving us with a problem. A problem compounded by the new Duke bringing the usual array of useless courtiers, unlanded sons, and general hangers on...

Oh and there is no hope of getting a divorce from his useless wife. A murder plot is started but dropped on account of not wanting kinslayer, which would make the diplomatic situation worse.

So out of habit, he goes on pilgrimage, and the army goes north to grab a bit more of the King of Italy's stuff....

Interestingly, the Croatian maintain strict neutrality against us, whilst fighting as an ally against the Duke of Latium - yes that war is still going on - and despite capturing the castle, and winning most of the battles, the Duke of Latium and his allies are not really progressing the warscore on account of their charging about aimlessly.

In the end it takes a 4,000 gold bribe to the Pope to get the divorce, at which point the new Duke marries the old Duke's ex-wife - meaning that she has now married the last three or four Dukes, and is de facto ruler of the Republic....

This doesn't bother me, the woman is clearly very able, but I am beginning to think that perhaps it is time for a little re-adjustment.

Those with keen eyes, will have noticed that recently my holdings have fallen from 9 to 6, on account of my getting rid of the castles I was holding and focusing on the cities. The only real negative of this was that I lost some 70 ships - well maybe not lost, but they are no longer guaranteed to me, and subject to vassal approval/

And with the changes to the vassal limit - changes I like btw - I am sort of in the place I was back in the early 1200's, where I am essentially locked into to marrying a specific type of woman just to get the necessary score to run my realm. And none of it is making me any money, or not significant amounts of money - the feudal tax accounts for at best 1% of my income.

And sitting here watching the pygmies go at also reminds me of just how irritating vassals can be. That and the re-appearance of independence factions....

No that is not strictly true...

What finally pushed me over the edge was the new Duke of Lombardy, declaring war to revoke the title of the Countess of Lombardy, and then getting thoroughly spanked in the war - his blushes only being saved by her death making the casus belli invalid.

This being the same Duke of Lombardy who is pushing for independence, turns up supporting every plot, has a face I want to punch and is the epitome of the useless trouble maker.

Ok, the original plan, if plan there was, was to grant independence once the crown of Italy had been destroyed. But since in order to do that means fighting wars in Southern Russia, the Balkans, Holland, Norway, and then finding out that they have one castle in Timbuktu - or whatever - I really cant be arsed....

So I give independence to everyone I can....

Leaving Italy looking like this....

Ah.... I didn't take a screen shot....

No matter.

It's all pretty straight forward really, the only issue is that Modena holds Spoleto, and the Duke of Medina is married to the Countess of Messina. Which means potentially two de jure wars - which I am slightly holding off on, since the crown of Italy has changed hands, and I don't drive the newly independent states into giving up their vassalage.

Oh and the Duke of Latium did this...

Creep...

Still it does make it easier should I wish to set up an anti-Pope...

Which reminds me I need to change the law to free investiture...

peace:)

Into the 14-Naughties

Suddenly becoming Muslim - well having a Muslim Duke - is rather like attacking the Pope for the first time. When you get past the Chicken-Licken moment of thinking the sky is about to fall in, it's pretty much like having any other Doge, or in the case of the Pope, attacking anyone else.

And so the first issue at hand is settling the Piombino question...

Which is pretty straight forward...

And that sorted it's off to grab a bit more land from the King of Italy....

Oh there is one drawback...

But this is actually a benefit in a way, since the revolts were centred on Bari, which at the time was a centre for Waldensian heresy, so the the fact that it is Catholics revolting distracted from the heresy, and made the task of dealing with the heresy that much easier.

In all there were three revolts - all of which were deal with easily enough by the levy.

One thing that did come up was that as a Muslim, you have a lot more choice with regard to casus belli. I was tempted to go for a holy war, thus giving me more choice at the end of the war. However, there was one major problem with regard to mercenaries.

You will recall there is a crusade for Jerusalem going on, and because I am now limited to hiring Muslim mercenaries, the pool of available fighting men was severely limited. Thankfully I still had the troops I had raised before the switch.

Therefore I stuck to a simply de jure claim for Trent, as I didn't fancy getting stuck in a potential regional war, without the ability to hire more men, and without allies - as none of the Polkarios clan would join me.

The war won, the Duke went off to Mecca - for a game of bingo - and then observed Ramadan. At which point I found myself envious of Muslims, particularly in a republic setting, because of the Ramadan feast, the options relating to charitable giving, and the options for improving vassal relationships in general. The Hajj options were better than those offered on pilgrimage too.

Plus if you want a divorce, none of this horse trading with the Pope, just pay up and the wife is gone. Though as I had 4 wives, and had married them rather rashly, it was rather expensive to collect a new brood.

Still when it was settled, and I was rather liking the idea of playing as a Muslim.... so of course....

Obviously I signed up for the crusade, in order to get this...

It did mean that I would have to wait to go on pilgrimage, and hold a tournament, but it didn't affect me going to war to claim Lombardy.... well actually it did, because Italy had joined the crusade, meaning that none of my tradition enemies - Italy, Croatia, the Abbasids etc, were available for a punch up.

The crusade was going badly, not helped by my having no intention of sending any troops, which was causing the Moral Authority of the Pope to fall, which in turn was leading to this...

 So without a war, I fell back on Republican polictics....

Who fancies murdering a patrician.... form an orderly queue....

And it did allow my Duke to engage in his passion for sex.

Being a bear of little brain, I didn't cotton on at first about the two bastard sons he brought with him, but when I gave his lustful nature free reign, it soon became clear where they came from.

Oh and if you are wondering why the crusade was going badly - well apart from one of it's leading members being the King of Italy - perhaps this will prove useful....

It's a feature of 867, pre HRE, starts that unless the player actively participates, or the crusade is on the doorstep of the big Karling kingdoms, that the crusaders are doomed because there are no big stacks, leaving the two or three large Muslim stacks to blitz everyone.

Which leads to this....

And this....

But no matter, with the crusade over it's time to get on with the fun of bashing up the Italians....

Oh no! he's called in the King of Croatia....

Time to send some troops to the Balkans...

I do enjoy killing Karlings.... especially when they are the heir to Croatia, Bulgaria, Serbia, and Bulgaria - which all sounds impressive until you realise that amounts to about 15 counties that are in a state of near permanent rebellion....

Ok, this is a touch of overkill....

But the king of Croatia is in that bunch, and if I catch and kill him, then the heir will be a 10 year old kid.

And thus the war ends...

Leaving the Duke free to pursue his passions....

Even if the Pope does hate us...

Meh.... what;s he gonna do?

peace:)

The Mad 1390s

The Duke is in love....

And everything is looking rosy...

So of course he dies....

The new duke raises the army to carry on the war with Italy, and sets out on pilgrimage for Jerusalem  gets injured in a burning building, catches a cold, and dies before he gets to the Holy City....

And so we get this bloke....

There are no words to express how much I hate him.

It's not just because he is chaste, and has poor stats, and has a rubbish wife...

It's because he is from Cyprus, and the Cyprus branch of the family are a particularly annoying bunch of people, who going way back to Duchess Barbara have been a right royal pain in the backside. And, he has all the traits that make him a typical Cypriot Polkarios - lazy, greedy, and not good at anything but being a soldier. Not that he is even much good at that, since way back in the mists of time I am pretty certain that he was the chap who rebelled, and despite having all the advantages, couldn't even win that war.

Hence why he is unlanded, and has become our problem.

Though on the brightside he is maimed.

And the Duke of Rashka - or whatever -  clearly agrees with me, and promptly declares independence.

Which poses a real problem, because Raugia is still controlled by a mayor, and the last time this region went independent, it went into business against us, forcing us to re-conqueror to shut them down. Thankfully the Duke is a feudal Lord in Zeta, so as long as he stays independent, and keeps control of the Dukedom, there shouldn't be an issue.

Houston we have a problem.

Plus the Duke of Sicily hasn't taken kindly to the Island of Malta, passing into the family of the Duke of Calabria

But never mind, as the war in Italy is going well....

And the capture of Pavia has provided us with a nice bonus...

And after we sent 18,000 troops, and the Polkarios family rallied round with another 60,000 - the situation in the Balkans has resolved itself....

Plus the ending of the Italy war, and the annexation of Pavia, has left the Italian King holding one castle in Rome, and some tribal lands in Northern Norway...

And given that the Pope won't give us a divorce - so far it has cost 4,000 prestige points - I wonder where those 60,000 mercenaries are going? Or why the retinue is drawn up around the Vatican?

It looks like God is on the side of the Big Battalions today...

10,000 dead mercenaries later, no siege here, just waves of assaults, the Duke of Latium is very pleased to receive his new lands....

And if you want to see the Pope, you need to go to Constantinople - which you may remember we gave to them in the settlement of 1047.

And if you want to see the King of Italy, you will have to travel slightly further afield... but at least he can save his children from being captured and executed, as I am unlikely to send troops to the arctic circle... as fun as killing his kids is...

The New Duke of Lombardy is this chap...

Hopefully, he and the Duke of Modena, who holds the Lombard lands, will fight it out to create the de jure Duchies, and also take the few remaining de jure counties of Lombardy held by the Italian crown, or vssalize them, so we can use our war declarations for other things, like Genoa.

And at the fourth time of asking the Pope has finally given us a divorce, so the administration problems have been greatly reduced. Luckily the rather good ex-wife of the previous two Dukes was still knocking around the court.

And just to show there are no hard feelings, the Pope has given us more money...

In the past 20 years the Pope has given us the best part of 200,000 gold, for various things like deposing the anti-pope, fighting holy wars, etc.... the vast majority of which has been spent on mercenaries.

And then he declares a new crusade for Jerusalem....

Which of course we join.

For this reason....

As we do not have the slightest interest in going to the Holy Land to fight in what will be the 5th or 6th crusade for the Kingdom of Jerusalem.

However, we do have a problem.

The death of the Duchess of Pisa, unfortunately occured when her heir, a bothersome chap - who has already been blinded for rebellious activity - was leading a revolt in Kabylia. Meaning that instead of him taking his dukedom, and giving us a potentially useful county in Africa, we now have to fight a war.

Oh and a peasant revolt in Salerno...

None of which is a problem...

And a new Pope means....

At which point officially we have more money than the Pope, plus we make three times more money than him.

So the peasants are crushed, the leader executed, Pisa is back in our hands, though Piombino is not - which is not really an issue, since there will soon be a new Duke, and it's not like the Duke of Pisa has the ability to resist.

But what is this...

Oh great... heretics...

And they waste no time in revolting....

And we waste no time in crushing the revolt, forcing the leader to convert, and sending him to the knights of Caltrava.

Plus the much hated Prince of Cyprus finally shuffles off this mortal coil, bringing in a new Duke, who is actually very useful...

And of course a new Duke means....

Ok, so we have had to sign up for the crusade, but if the new Duke can give us five years, we can settle the Piombino question, grab a bit more land in Italy, maybe get to a position in which the Pope can come back to Rome and be vassalised, and maybe - if miracles do happen -  the kingdom of Italy can be destroyed, and the Italian Dukes given Independence, allowing us to settle down for a nice gentle run in to the end of the game.

True we do have an issue with heresy, and the revolt risk continues until 1407 in Bari - but we have the troops to deal with it.

When this happens....

The Duke dies, and the new Duke is.....

A possessed Sunni Muslim.

At which point I burst out laughing. And declare with all my heart and soul, that I love this game, and it is the best computer game that has ever been made.

You can't make this shit up.

For five hundred years, the Republic of Sicily has been the staunch defender of the Catholic Church. Because of us, Greece and North Africa have been converted to the faithful. We have fought and won numerous crusades, defeated 3 Jihads (and only lost the 4th, after fighting for 18 years), we have fought and won countless holy wars.

And now because of the serendipity of seniority succession, and a deliberate policy of sending the family out into the world to make something of themselves, we have a Muslim Doge.

Part of me is tempted to go the whole hog, and convert, and turn Italy into a Jihadi state - and if he was 10 or 15 years younger this would probably be a viable option.

But I guess I'll just play safe, settle the Piombino question, and maybe grab a bit more land in Northern Italy. And perhaps fight a few wars with my family, depending on how much umbridge they take about my Mohammedan Doge.

Mad.

Love it.

peace:)